In2-MeC

Amsterdam, the Netherlands
6 December 2004

Here's some quotations written by a person who suffers from NPD, Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Narcissism is a psychological condition in which a person is unhealthily self-absorbed. I took these quotations from a few different articles, and separated them with subheadings of my own.

Some basic symptoms

Prone to magical thinking, the narcissist is deeply convinced of the transcendental meaning of his life. He fervently believes in his own uniqueness and "mission". He constantly searches for clues regarding the hidden - though inevitable - meaning of his personal life. The narcissist is forever a "public persona", even when alone, in the confines of his bedroom. His every move, his every act, his every decision and every scribbling is of momentous consequence. The narcissist often documents his life with vigil, for the benefit of future biographers. His every utterance and shred of correspondence are carefully orchestrated as befitting a historical figure of import.

This grandiose background leads to an exaggerated sense of entitlement. The narcissist feels that he is worthy of special and immediate treatment by the most qualified. His time is too precious to be wasted by bureaucratic trifles, misunderstandings, underlings, and social conventions. His mission is urgent. Other people are expected both to share the narcissist's self-assessment - and to behave accordingly: to accommodate his needs, instantly comply with his wishes, and succumb to his whims.

The narcissistic "guru"

The narcissist is the guru at the center of a cult. Like other gurus, he demands complete obedience from his flock: his spouse, his offspring, other family members, friends, and colleagues. He feels entitled to adulation and special treatment by his followers. He punishes the wayward and the straying lambs. He enforces discipline, adherence to his teachings, and common goals. The less accomplished he is in reality--� the more stringent his mastery and the more pervasive the brainwashing.

The � often involuntary � members of the narcissist's mini-cult inhabit a twilight zone of his own construction. He imposes on them a shared psychosis, replete with persecutory delusions, "enemies", mythical narratives, and apocalyptic scenarios if he is flouted.

The narcissist's control is based on ambiguity, unpredictability, fuzziness, and ambient abuse. His ever-shifting whims exclusively define right versus wrong, desirable and unwanted, what is to be pursued and what to be avoided. He alone determines the rights and obligations of his disciples and alters them at will.

Narcissism and depression

Many scholars consider pathological narcissism to be a form of depressive illness. This is the position of the authoritative magazine "Psychology Today". The life of the typical narcissist is, indeed, punctuated with recurrent bouts of dysphoria (ubiquitous sadness and hopelessness), anhedonia (loss of the ability to feel pleasure), and clinical forms of depression (cyclothymic, dysthymic, or other). This picture is further obfuscated by the frequent presence of mood disorders, such as Bipolar I (co-morbidity).

Narcissim and the Internet

To the narcissist, the Internet is an alluring and irresistible combination of playground and hunting grounds, the gathering place of numerous potential Sources of Narcissistic Supply, a world where false identities are the norm and mind games the bon ton. And it is beyond the reach of the law, the pale of social norms, the strictures of civilized conduct.

As you may have guessed by now, I personally find that these descriptions of NPD hit very close to home. There are even more revelant articles. One is about narcissism and religion. Yes, religion is an area that offers unhealthy opportunities to the narcissist.

Scary. He's written dozens of articles and several books on this subject. There's no cure for NPD, he says. A person who suffers from narcissism, must try to live with it in as healthy a manner as possible. So--do you think that translates into Krsna conscious terminology as "engagement"?--e. g. "You should engage your propensity in Krsna's service, Prabhu. "

Srila Prabhupada writes (SB 1. 10. 30p):

The devotees of the Lord are purified souls. As soon as the devotees surrender unto the lotus feet of the Lord sincerely, the Lord accepts them, and thus the devotees at once become free from all material contaminations. Such devotees are above the three modes of material nature. There is no bodily disqualification of a devotee, just as there is no qualitative difference between the Ganges water and the unfilthy drain water when they are amalgamated.

Sincere surrender is stipulated here. And, if it is truly sincere, such surrender will be accepted by the Lord. Then like drain water that has entered the Ganges, the "material" aspects of a devotee's life are purified. Often it is asked, "What does it mean to be sincerely surrendered to the Lord? How do we know that the Lord accepts our surrender?"

Yasya prasada bhagavat prasado. . . The mercy of the spiritual master is essential to sincere surrender. Sheltered by that mercy, then iha yasya harer dasye. . . One who engages in the transcendental service of the Lord in body, mind and word is to be considered liberated in all conditions of material existence.

Yasyasti bhaktir bhagavaty akincana sarvair gunais tatra samasate surah. All good qualities manifest. If you remain with the fire, you become warm. The quality is acquired. If you remain in the sunshine, you become warm. Because sun is warm. So you acquire the quality. So if we remain always with Krsna, then we acquire the qualities of Krsna. So God is all-good. Therefore I become good, by association with God. It is very simple reasoning. Yes. God is all-good. So if you remain always with God, then you become good. The same example: if you remain with fire, you become warm, the quality of the fire. If you remain in sunshine, you become warm. (12 July 1973 room conversation, London)

Every living entity is already with God, because He dwells in everyone's heart. But to acquire the quality of God, as Srila Prabhupada describes above, one must associate with Him on His terms. When we cling to our own self-concocted terms, we continue to associate with our self-concocted bad qualities.

Our expert on NPD writes:

In my mind, I am not human. I am a machine at the service of a madman that snatched my body and invaded my being when I was very young. Imagine the terror I live with, the horror of having an alien within your own self. A shell, a nothingness, I keep producing articles at an ever accelerating pace. I write maniacally, unable to cease, unable to eat, or sleep, or bathe, or enjoy. I am possessed by me. Where does one find refuge if one's very abode, one's very soul is compromised and dominated by one's mortal enemy-- oneself?

Scary. Hare Krsna!

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